Kurapika and the Unripe Fruits
by AsukaFireDuchess
Summary: Because it's Leorio's fault and Hisoka's dream come true.


_**AsukaFireDuchess**_

_**Kurapika and the Unripe Fruits**_

_**Chapter 1**_

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><p><strong><em>AN: So I've been getting a bit rusty when it comes to fanfiction writing and depicting dialogue based scenarios, so it's time to get this ball rolling. I don't ship Kurapika and Leorio AT ALL but honestly the protagonists remind me of a big happy family. Kurapika being the mother, Leorio being the father and Gon and Killua being the children of course, so let's play around with said idea~!_**

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><p>"Kurapika."<p>

"Yes Leorio?"

"Don't be mad at me when I tell you this…"

"And _what_ did you do _this _time Leorio?"

"….Long story short, Killua and Gon are kids."

"I already know that."

"NO, as in…. they're six year olds now."

"WAIT WHAT?"

"You promised you wouldn't be mad."

"HOW IS THAT- WHY- WHEN- THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE, how did this happen?"

"Do you want the long version or the short version?"

"I WANT TO KNOW EVERY SINGLE DETAIL-"

"Too bad, I'm not going to tell you. Long story short, I did some shit involving a biology lab and some other shit happened."

As Kurapika continued to hyperventilate, Leorio tried to rationalize with him. He tried and failed miserably to calm the scarlet eyed Kurta down but managed to attract a small crowd of people around them. All the familiar faces of the exam takers looked down on them, some with disgust, some with amusement and others with plain bewilderment.

"What happened here?" Ponzu prodded; poking Leorio's side. But the two friends seemed to be immersed in a world of their own.

"One can only consider the possibilities…" Bourbon replied in their stead.

"LUCKILY FOR YOU, I am here."

Nicole burst into the room; laptop in hand; already typing away. How his data was to help them in this situation, they had no idea. But it was better than nothing.

"Why don't we hit Kurapika or something?"

"Would you WANT to hit Kurapika?" Pokkle asked, invading said speaker's personal space and staring him in the eyes intently. No. No they didn't, but the situation was awkward none the less.

"I can't believe this." Kurapika sighed, dropping his shoulders to his utmost ability. It was clear that he had lost all faith in humanity what-so-ever.

"We demand an explanation."

After a LOT of explaining from Leorio's part- which clearly defied the laws of both physics And biology so let's not go into that- everyone was in more or less the same exasperated state as the blonde dude that looks like a chick but is really hot. Don't judge me.

"But, where ARE Gon and Killua?"

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

_Silence._

"HOW THE HELL COULD YOU LEAVE THEM ALONE?"

"LISTEN KURAPIKA I THOUGHT WE HAD AN AGREEMENT."

"Guys-"

"HOW THE HELL COULD YOU BE SO STUPID?"

"THAT'S IT, THIS IS THE END OF OUR FREINDSHIP AND ANYTHING WE EVER HAD."

"Guys-"

"I WOULD KILL MYSELF RATHER THAN 'HAVE' ANYTHING WITH YOU!"

"Ew."

"GUYS!" Sommy finally shouted, knocking some sense into both of them.

"Oh, sorry." They both apologized.

"I think I found your kids."

"THEY AREN'T OUR KIDS."

"Yeah whatever, they were playing with this guy here." Sommy gestured to the monkey on his shoulder and sure enough, the notion actually made sense.

"So, where are they?"

"Oh, I left them with Hisoka."

"WITH HISOKA? WHAT ON EARTH POSSESSED YOU TO DO THAT?"

"Um, he had the whole clown vibe going on so I thought-"

"THE IDIOT TRAIN KEEPS ON GAINING MORE PASSENGERS DOESN'T IT?"

They both ran to the magician's brooding-quarters and flung the door open, almost toppling over each other in the process.

"GON, KILLUA ARE YOU STILL ALIVE-hey you're not Hisoka."

And definitely, he was not. Instead, it was a man; tall and slender with long, flowing black hair; just like princess Jasmine's and creepy hollow pits for eyes. Was he wearing Gittarackur's outfit? He was wearing Gittarackur's outfit. What a fashion disaster…

…Wait, was he hugging Killua?

He was hugging Killua.

"Uh, yes I am." He said awkwardly.

"No you're not."

"HEY LOOK OVER THERE!"

They did as they were told, but upon further inspection; found nothing and turned back to the matter at hand.

"WHO THE HELL ARE _YOU_?"

"I am Hisoka's twin brother."

"NO YOU'RE NOT. YOU'RE JUST THE SAME GUY WITH A MOUSTACHE."

And as if on cue, the strand of hair which had been used as a make-shift moustache began to slip off his upper lip but he steadied it just in time. This was getting very ridiculous.

"Come to think of it Leorio," Kurapika started. "Hisoka is weird and this guy is weird.  
>It might just run in the family for all we know."<p>

"Yea totally. I am Hisoka's father."

"Father?"

"Brother, I mean brother."

"Alright fine, we believe you." Leorio signaled Kurapika to come inside and shut the door behind him. They would settle this like rational adults. "Can you explain what you are doing with Gon and Killua?"

"Gon-what's a Gon?"

"What do you mean- OH MY GOD, WHERE IS HE?"

Their eyes darted across the room, landing on any object that even remotely resembled a little boy and was an obnoxious shade of green.

He wasn't there.

"Damn it!" The older of the two cursed, plopping down on a nearby chair. Kurapika sat down on the bed and turned to the dude with the 'stache, he knew none of these idiots were to be trusted, but there was no use crying over spilt milk.

"When you arrived here, was Killua the only child in the premises?"

"Pretty much." The creep STILL hadn't let go of him though.

"You know, I could ask you many things right now. Like who allowed you to get on this aircraft and how are you acquainted with Killua and I would advise you to stop hugging him he looks like he's going to bite you- oh wow he's really cute- and it seems like you're a pedophile, but I won't. BECAUSE, Leorio- I am going to scout for Gon and you are going to ask this good man to explain all of that to you okay?"

"WAIT WHY?"

"Because I God damned said so and need to find our children!" He snapped, his eyes growing a bright shade of scarlet (let's face it, this was way overdue).

"_Our _children?" Leorio's eyes beamed, ignoring the death glare he was currently receiving from both ends.

"I MEAN OUR FRIENDS!"

Kurapika slammed the door, shaking the entire room (or airship for that matter) behind him.

"You know between you and me, I thought I'd never have a wife as beautiful as Kurapika."

"She's a very lucky woman to have you as her husband." Hisoka's brother/father bowed his head with understanding, also trying to avoid Killua's constant blows in the process.

"Woman?"

"Oh but let this be known. Killua is _MY _child!"

"Whoa, let me get this straight. So you're Hisoka AND Killua's father?"

"Oh my God."

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><p><em><strong>P.S AyanoThe10Tailed is my editor now! :D We had very LENGTHY and INTENSE discussions on what to name this.<strong>_


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